Ryley James on the teen rebel phase

Written by Ryley James

Anonymous request for advice from Ryley,

“My sister who is bisexual and a teen is experiencing a rebellious phase with marijuana misuse. Do you have any experience in this area?”

While I did go through a rebel phase (it is hard not to with parents who don’t particularly support or care about who you are), I never did drugs or anything like that. I was more concerned about how I was going to pass my classes and pay for school and the rest of my generalized anxiety disorder. I was never doing drugs, and by the time I was in a place both mentally and physically where I could have tried it, I was in a safe space where I could successfully weigh the pros and cons of the situation. I decided that it was better to leave the smoking to my friends who did that than to try it myself. For me, my rebel phase was more about my body and what I looked and felt like.

As soon as I could do so without consequences, whatever I could do to make my parents uncomfortable with who I was and what I looked like, I took that chance. I got my first facial piercing the moment I got out of high school, I dyed my hair strange colors as soon as physically possible after graduation, I got my lip pierced soon after and my first tattoo for the same reasons. Even now I pick my clothing not only based on what will make me feel good about myself, but what would have my parent’s telling me am not allowed to leave the house until I put on something more conservative. Even if I didn’t do the same thing she is doing, I did go through the same phase, and I probably felt similar things to what she is feeling.
I had been living in a space where I felt like I was confined to a role I didn’t fit, and as soon as I had the means and the space to do so, I changed something I could control so that even if I had to
continue living that role I could do so knowing I was living it my way.
Rebellion itself (be it mine or that of any historical or literary context) has always been about control;I wouldn’t doubt that her’s is too. If I am correct, she is doing this as a way to take back control of her life during a time when she feels like she doesn’t have control. The best thing for you to do in that situation, is to take a step back and just let her do it.
Let her feel in control of what happens to her, and don’t be high and mighty if things go south.

Don’t try to lecture her on safety, don’t try to insert yourself into the situation, don’t try to steer her decisions. It is scary, yeah, because when it comes to keeping her safe there really isn’t much you can do with a hands-off approach, but in the long run not only will it be better for her to have these mistakes and victories under her belt, but it will be better for your relationship too.
If she comes to you for help, hear her out like an adult. Listen to her problem, help her look into solutions, and if she picks a solution that you wouldn’t go with but ultimately won’t end up hurting herself or others, don’t try to shut her down or steer her away from it. Don’t treat her like a child. Treat her like a person who can make informed decisions, because that is what she is.
More likely than not she knows more about her situation than you think she does, and even that you do. She is bound to make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that she is uninformed or doesn’t know what her situation is. You can be there to catch her if she falls even if she doesn’t want you there to help her every other step of the way.
Be a safety net, not a strait jacket, because that is what she needs right now.

 

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Knuckleheads go bowling!

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Ashton Deroy Writes: My Depression was hitting me hard in April, as it usually does and I needed to have my spirits lifted. Alana Skye to the rescue again! She took me bowling in Newmarket and we annoyed some people as we always do. It was a great time. I am lucky to have some of the greatest friends & family imaginable. I hope you get a kick out of our bowling video below. 

 

 

Another update: We are now in the planning phases of launching a personal sales business for print and digital promotion. Get in touch with me for more details at Ashtonderoy@gmail.com 

Parliament buildings, talking about Justin Trudeau’s book Common Ground.

 

Canadiana
The only parliament in Ontario where anything useful gets done 😛🇨🇦 ~Diana Skye

 

Picture by Diana Skye, Parliament building, and some beautiful Canadian nature. 

Someone at work said to me Canada has no tradition, we have no culture, we are a weak standard of traditions. Say that to my aunt who is a sergeant in the army, tell that to Diana who has been to other countries and still prefers Canada. Yes, we have another birthday party coming up and yes I intend to really share my passions about this country over the next few weeks on this blog. I used to live by the Kingston, Ottawa & Montreal area in 2015 and I left it to conquer my issues with drug addiction. I semi conquered those issues today. 

As of now, I am reading the most Canadiana book I have ever read. It is Common Ground by Justin Trudeau, one of the heroes I blogged about in 2017. There is so much wonderful culture in this book. From Justin Trudeau training boxing in a gym in Quebec,  

Right now I am at the 100-page mark of the book & not many of you know this about me. 100 pages are where I decide whether I will put a book down or not. I hate to say it, but 100 pages are where I used to put down a lot of books. This is not happening with the Justin Trudeau booked and story. I am hooked & ready to keep learning more about our prime minister. 

 

When is it time to transition from college staff to a recruiter & or career counsellor?

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People sometimes ask why I get jobs so quickly in transition periods. They might even assume it has to do with a heightened skills that employers demand. Neither of these things are why though.

I have experience accessing resources for mental health, crisis & of course needing a job. When I need a job, I no longer waste my time on job boards & consulting professors. I go straight to the source. The people who are paid specifically to complete hiring quotas. I am talking about government funded employment counsellors &  company recruiters.

How do you know when it is time to approach employment counsellor instead of academic staff? If you have graduated college in Canada as of May 2018 it is time just get to Employment Ontario. Time to access these employment resources. They connect you with usually vetted job boards, resume & cover letter best practices and mock interviews. The people I know who were waiting on professors to get them digital marketing jobs are “still waiting”.

What if you want to join the army? Don’t get me wrong it is not an easy process but get started sooner rather than later. As of now I am still awaiting a college transcript to start this process. (It takes that long!) you might yourself have paperwork to get done. Get started now! However army recruiters are extremely efficient and I am related to a few.

How do I know if I can trust a talent recruiter or HR representative? They met with you in person. Every outsourced talent recruiter who I only meet on the phone is a complete moron! I don’t even think the last guy I talked to didn’t know half of what was happening at a firm whose job offer I had to reject. I have also been sent to non-existent sites & old addresses. When you are on the phone with a talent recruiter or HR rep? Ask if they will be at the office to meet with you. If not hit “do not go.”

How long did it take to get my last job? By not doing an on the couch job search, by connecting with experts and cold calling agencies. I got my job in field for the first time on

Wednesday May 2nd 2018.  I didn’t waste my time with a college career connection. I knew where I needed to go from my own research.

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Blog Process

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I just want to encourage entrepreneurs and creative professionals to check out my friends from the United Kingdom. This is Blog Process, they interviewed me in March before I took a job in a marketing firm. Definitely check out the form, they have featured entrepreneur’s, articles written by real pros and tech talk.

References

Should I quit my job to manage my online store?

Most Shopify users may as well be making minimum wage to under minimum wage. Only the smallest percent of survey Entrepreneur drop shippers make a killing.

Sorry to burst your bubble but this is not the time to be an online Entrepreneur. Sadly I think the time you wanted to get on and off the ride was from 2012-2015. Factoring in things such as the Facebook + YouTube Algorithm changes, the fact most stores sell want-based products & the percentage of people selling branded merchandise without proper licensing. This will not likely be how you make your living.

Should you quit your job for the drop shipping lifestyle? Absolutely not, you should keep your job and invest your income. Also, hire a content manager for when you are working. Someone to sign up email contacts, create content and get your brand noticed on the web because it is not easy anymore. 

It is time to unload the truth on you. You became a drop shipper because you thought eCommerce would be an easy job. Why wouldn’t you think eCommerce is easy? That is what Shopify told you. Only to realize the market is cluttered, Facebook is screwing with your business & the customers don’t buy expensive products. 

 

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Shopify’s allegedly false claims about easy sales. Picture from Ampercent

 

To unlicensed merchandise sellers in North America. There are now a variety of ways to report you for selling copyright merchandise, but you want to still take these stupid risks? Have someone do a risk analysis for you and you should be able to see that ripping off and reselling someone else’s intellectual property is not very smart. Even if you see Asian suppliers or stores doing it, you don’t do it! The Asian market is different and therefore follows different regulations for operating their creative businesses. 

Now you know the truth about the drop shipping business. This is not your new career or your pathway to millionaire status. These are want-based stores, balancing on the balance beam of regulations & advertisers have been lying on behalf of Shopify to say selling goods on Facebook is easy. Do not quit your job to sell stuff on Shopify unless you want to starve. 

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Get real results with your digital marketing efforts. Call 647-850-6802 Or email me at admin@ashtonderoy.ca

Sales is King, Marketing is jester

Sales is King, Marketing is jester

If more companies were built around effective and legal sales strategies Canada would not have had the famous flops I can think of in the last 5 years. These incidents include but are not limited to:

  • Rogers & Bell getting called out for high sales pressure tactics – Despite many vendor contract employees in telecom taking issue with their practices.  
  • Sears creating a re-branding campaign – When they needed a better sales campaign 
  • 99% of new businesses failing – Again not because of bad ideas but because no one thought how to sell these ideas. 

We are in an era now where we realize, “There is no such thing as being your own boss.” Someone has got to be paying for us to keep the lights on. Your Shopify store is no different. You need a boss, their name will be buyers or one big buyer. You do need a boss though. Unless you planned to build your business as a hobby shop. Then get off of my forum! 

“Alright I know we need sales Ashton but where do we go online to find those sales.” To that, I reply, turn off the computer moron and go around town putting flyers in mailboxes! Paper still works and digital is in decline. Write a blog and get yourself interviewed about your passion or create interesting content that you share on a multi-platform plan to engage a new audience. 

Just know this, if you are not answering some customer’s dumb question about your business with a smile on your face. You are running your business completely and totally wrong. “I got into this so I would have something I enjoy.” Bogus… I reply. “You got into this to sell stupid stuff on the internet and make a bundle of money.” By the way, if you are not thinking about it yet, here are some potential buyers for crap you sell for Indian factories or homemade. 

  1. Store owners – People who need to stock an inventory all the time of trendy and unique stuff. 
  2. Young Dynamic Bloggers – Get people who will write about your products. 
  3. Vloggers – People who will demonstrate your products to their audience. 
  4. Drunk shoppers – Seriously the only people who drop serious money on Facebook usually are some kind of intoxicated. For example, I refer to a relative of mine who buys phone accessories loaded. 
  5. Personal Sellers – Try to convince people to buy a wholesale of your products to sell on a commission. Also, learn straight commission pay is not a bad word for a sales job. If you do get other help though… Get them on an hourly.